Περιστατικό: Κακοποίηση τίτλος: «Η

Περιστατικό: Κακοποίηση τίτλος: «Η έλξη μου στη βία»

ΟΝΟΜΑ: Μερόπη ΗΛΙΚΙΑ: 52

ΕΠΑΓΓΕΛΜΑ: Γιατρός

Οικογενειακή κατάσταση : Παντρεμένη με 3 παιδιά

Από την ψυχολόγο Πέγκυ Πελώνη 

Χρόνια ζούσα έναν εφιάλτη, που όμως ήταν τόσο οικείος· δεν ήξερα πώς να υπάρχω χωρίς αυτόν. Είμαι μια πολύ επιτυχημένη γιατρός με πολλή αγάπη για τους συνανθρώπους που υποφέρουν. Αφιέρωσα τη ζωή μου στην προσφορά και ανακούφιση των άλλων. Κέρδισα το σεβασμό των συναδέλφων μου και την αγάπη πολλών ασθενών μου. Όμως στο γάμο μου ήμουν μια γυναίκα κακοποιημένη. Αφησα τον εαυτό μου να εξευτελίζεται καθημερινά και το χειρότερο ήταν ότι πίστευα άτι το άξιζα. Με κυρίευαν οι ενοχές ότι εγώ το προκαλούσα. Σκεφτόμουν καθημερινά ότι αν ήμουν καλύτερη μαγείρισσα, καλύτερη ερωτική σύντροφος, περισσότερο υπομονετική, λιγότερο κουραστική, δεν θα συνέβαιναν όλα αυτά. Ο άνδρας μου ήταν κι αυτός γιατρός. 'Οταν γνωριστήκαμε δεν ξεκολλούσε ο ένας από τον άλλον. Με κοίταζε στα μάτια, διεκδικούσε τις ελεύθερες ώρες μου, με γέμιζε δώρα κι έδειχνε να παθιάζεται μαζί μου σε κάθε ματιά. Όταν παντρευτήκαμε, η ζήλια που μέχρι τότε με κολάκευε έγινε ανυπόφορη. Σταματήσαμε να κάνουμε παρέα με άλλα ζευγάρια, γιατί θεωρούσε ότι οι άνδρες με φλέρταραν, παρακολουθούσε τα τηλέφωνά μου και τα ένα-δυο κατά λάθος χαστούκια άρχισαν να γίνονται μπουνιές και κλοτσιές που πάντα βέβαια συνοδεύονταν από χυδαίες βρισιές.

'Οταν έμεινα έγκυος, μια του μπουνιά με έριξε αναίσθητη και οι κλοτσιές που ακολούθησαν έγιναν η αιτία να χάσω το παιδί που κυοφορούσα. Αποφάσισα να φύγω αλλά με ικέτευσε, υποσχέθηκε να αλλάξει, ορκιζόταν ότι φερόταν έτσι από την πολλή αγάπη και το πάθος του για μένα. Τον πίστεψα, επέστρεψα και για λίγο τα πράγματα ηρέμησαν. Έμεινα πάλι έγκυος, αυτή τη φορά ήταν δύσκολη εγκυμοσύνη και χρειάστηκε να μείνω στο κρεβάτι τους τελευταίους τρεις μήνες.

Η ένταση κορυφώθηκε και πάλι, οι βρισιές εντάθηκαν. Σκεφτόμουν πάλι ότι θα αλλάξει όταν έρθει στη ζωή το παιδί. Αλλά όταν αυτό έγινε, η ζωή μου, η ζωή μας έγινε μια κόλαση. Αν έκλαιγε το παιδί, έφταιγα εγώ, αν δεν έτρωγε, αν αρρώσταινε, έφταιγα εγώ. Μέχρι που μια μέρα, πάνω σε έναν καβγά μας, με χτύπησε ανελέητα, άρπαξε το παιδί και το πέταξε με δύναμη στην κούνια του. Ευτυχώς τα μαλακά του παιχνίδια και οι κουβέρτες σταμάτησαν το κακό. Αυτό, όμως, με οδήγησε να φύγω και να μην κοιτάξω πίσω. Με πήγε στα δικαστήρια, με απείλησε, με ικέτευσε αλλά δεν επέστρεψα

Μετά την αρχική ανακούφιση, άρχισα να βιώνω ένα ατέλειωτο κενό και μια βαθύτατη θλίψη. Αναγκάστηκα να παίρνω φάρμακα για να καταφέρω να λειτουργώ στη δουλειά μου, όμως χειροτέρευα. Μια πολύ καλή φίλη με έπεισε να επισκεφτώ έναν ψυχίατρο/ψυχοθεραπευτή. Με δυσκολία το έκανα. Έπρεπε να βγω απ’ αυτήν την εσωτερική κόλαση που είχε γίνει πια τρόπος ζωής και να καταλάβω γιατί επέτρεψα τόση βία στη ζωή μου.

Ανακαλέσαμε το παρελθόν μου για να βρούμε τη ρίζα τον προβλήματος. Σννειδητοποίησα ότι μεγάλωσα μέσα στη βία και ότι αυτή η κατάσταση ήταν τόσο γνώριμη που μπορεί και να την αναζητούσα. Κατάλαβα ότι η μητέρα μου ήταν μια ψυχικά άρρωστη γυναίκα που έριχνε τις ευθύνες για τη δυστυχία της σ’ εμένα. Η σημαντικότερη παιδική μου ανάμνηση ήταν η εξής: Θυμάμαι ότι ήμουν 4 χρόνων, στολίζαμε το δέντρο εν όψει Χριστουγέννων. Πήγα να βάλω ένα στολίδι και δεν τα κατάφερα, κοίταξα τη μαμά μου για βοήθεια, αλλά φοβόμουν να της το ζητήσω. Τότε εκείνη με σκοτεινό κι απόμακρο βλέμμα μου είπε: «Εσένα δεν θα σου φέρει δώρο ο Αγιος Βασίλης γιατί είσαι διαβολοκόριτσο. Όταν γεννήθη-κες με έκανες να υποφέρω τόσο που σου έδωσα την κατάρα μου. Εύχομαι να υποφέρεις σε όλη σον τη ζωή, όπως εγώ όταν σε γέννησα». Χωρίς δεύτερη κονβέντα άρπαξε το δέντρο, το ξεστόλισε και πέταξε τα στολίδια πάνω μον. Εμεινα ακίνητη από το φόβο μου. Η μητέρα μου κατάφερε να φοβάμαι τη σκιά μου, να προσπαθώ απεγνωσμένα να γίνω καλύτερη, αφού ένιωθα ένα τίποτα και να συμπάσχω αφάνταστα με τον ανθρώπινο πόνο. Έχει πεθάνει εδώ και χρόνια, μα η σκέψη της ακόμα με γεμίζει τρόμο. Ακόμα δουλεύω με τον εαυτό μου για να καταφέρω να τη συγχωρέσω, μήπως και λυτρωθώ επιτέλους. Εν τω μεταξύ ξαναπαντρεύτηκα, έκανα δύο ακόμα παιδιά. Συχνά ξυπνάω στον ύπνο μου κοιτάζω τον άνδρα μου και αναρωτιέμαι πότε θα γίνει βίαιος.

Μέχρι στιγμής όμως δεν συμβαίνει. Τολμώ να πω ότι κατάφερα να αλλάξω την πορεία της ζωής μου, αλλά και τον παιδιού μον. Τολμώ να κάνω όνειρα, να φροντίζω τον εαυτό μου, τολμώ να νιώθω ότι τελικά αξίζω.

Η βία που υπέστη η Μερόπη σε όλη της τη ζωή αλλά και τα συναισθήματά της  για τον εαυτό της και οι αντιλήψεις  της για τη ζωή καθρεφτίζονται στις παιδικές της αναμνήσεις.

Οι παιδιά αναμνήσεις είναι παράθυρα που μας επιτρέπουν να δούμε ότι το παρελθόν έχει σημαδέψει το παρόν μας. Παράλληλα, μας βοηθούν να ανοίξουμε την πόρτα στο μέλλον και να αποφασίσουμε κατά πόσο θέλουμε να συνεχίσουμε στην ίδια πορεία, μια πορεία που θα οδηγήσει σε παρόμοιες καταστάσεις ή κατά πόσο θέλουμε να ρισκάρουμε την αλλαγή. Όταν έπειτα από καιρό η Μερόπη διηγούνταν την ίδια ανάμνηση, αυτό που είχε αλλάξει ήταν η εικόνα του εαυτού της, η ανάμνηση του εαυτού της σαν μια γυναίκα που μάχεται να φέρει την αλλαγή ήταν πιο έντονη από την εικόνα του θύματος. Δηλαδή η αυτοεκτίμησή της είχε αναπτυχθεί και η ίδια παίρνοντας την ευθύνη έπαψε να θεωρεί τους άλλους υπεύθυνοί για τη ζωή της και κατάφερε να λυτρωθεί από νοσηρές σχέσεις.

Results (English) 1:

Incident: Abuse title: "my attraction to violence 'Name: AGE: 53 MeropePROFESSION: DoctorMarital status: Married with 3 childrenBy psychologist Peggy Peloni Years ago I lived a nightmare, but it was so intimate; I didn't know how to exist without him. I am a very successful doctor with a lot of love for fellow human beings that suffer. I have spent my life on offer and other relief. I earned the respect of my colleagues and the love of many patients. But in my marriage I was a battered wife. I let myself be humiliated daily and the worst thing was that I thought the Steed deserved. With kyrieyan the guilt that I challenge. I was thinking every day that if I were a better Cook, best erotic companion, more patient, less tedious, it won't happen. My husband was a doctor. When we met xekolloyse not from each other. With a look in her eyes, was claiming his free time filling my gifts and seemed to passion with me at every glance. When we got married, the jealousy that until then with kolakeye was unbearable. We stopped we hang out with other pairs, because assumed that men with courted, watched my phones and a couple accidentally slapping began to punches and kicking that always accompanied by vulgar insults.When I got pregnant, one of the punch threw me insensitive and kicking that followed became the reason to lose the child kyoforoysa. I decided to leave but begged, promised change, swore that he showed so much love and passion for me. I believed him, I returned and for a while things calmed down. I was pregnant again, this time it was a difficult pregnancy and had to stay in bed in the last three months.The tension culminated again, intensified insults. I was thinking again that will change when you come to life the child. But when this happened, my life, our life became an inferno. If the child was crying, too, if you don't eat, though, I was sickened them. Until one day, on a fight, hit me mercilessly, grabbed the child and threw with power in the swing. Fortunately the soft of games and the blankets stopped the evil. This, however, led me to leave and not look back. With it went to court, with threatened, begged but not returnedAfter the initial relief, I started to experience an endless space and a deep sadness. I was forced to take drugs to be able to function in my work, but cheirotereya. A very good friend convinced me to visit a psychiatrist/psychotherapist. With difficulty I did. Should I get out of this internal hell that had become a way of life and to understand why they allowed such violence in my life.Have withdrawn my past to find the root of the problem. Snneiditopoiisa that I grew up in the violence and that this situation was so familiar that you can look for. I realized that my mother was a mentally ill woman who threw the blame for the misery of to me. The most important childhood memory was as follows: I remember being 4 years, stolizame the Christmas tree view. I went to put a gem and I did not succeed, I looked at my mom for help, but I was afraid to ask. Then she with dark and distant look told me: "You are not I'll bring the gift Santa Claus because you are diabolokoritso. When gennithi-adults with did you suffer as I have given you my curse. I wish to suffer throughout life, Shaun like I do when I gave birth. " Without a second konbenta grabbed the tree, xestolise and flew the ornaments on Mon. I stayed motionless from my fear. My mother managed to fear my shadow, trying desperately to become better, because I felt nothing and to sympathize with unimaginable human suffering. Has been dead for years, but the thought of it still fills me with trepidation. Even working with myself to be able to forgive, did and finally redeemed. Meanwhile, xanapantreytika did two more children. Often I wake up in my sleep I look at my husband and wonder when they will become violent.So far, however, not the case. I dare say that I managed to change the course of my life, but also the child unit. Dare to make dreams, to take care of myself, I feel that I deserve.The violence suffered by merope throughout her life and her feelings about herself and her perceptions of life are reflected in the childhood of memories.The kids memories are Windows that allow us to see that the past has marked our present. At the same time, help us to open the door to the future and decide whether we want to continue on the same path, a path that will lead to similar situations or whether we want to risk change. When after long merope diigoyntan the same recollection, what had changed was the picture of herself, the recollection of herself as a woman battling to bring the change was more intense than the image of the victim. IE's self-esteem had been developed and the same taking responsibility no longer considers the other officers about her life and managed to redeem themselves from unhealthy relationships.

Results (English) 2:

Incident: Abuse title: "My attraction to violence" NAME: Merope AGE: 52 OCCUPATION: Doctor Marital status: Married with three children from the psychologist Peggy Peloni  years I lived a nightmare, but that was so familiar; I did not know how to exist without him. I'm a very successful doctor with a lot of love for fellow human beings who are suffering. I spent my life in the supply and relieve the others. I won the respect of my colleagues and my love of many patients. But in my marriage I was a battered woman. I let my self be humiliated every day and the worst was that I believed I deserved the steed. With newfound guilt that I cause it. I thought every day that if I cook better, better sexual partner, more patient, less tedious, would not happen all that. My husband was also a doctor. When we met no peeling off from each other. With staring eyes, claiming my free time, filled with gifts and seemed obsessed with me at every glance. When we got married, jealousy until then with flattering became unbearable. We stopped to make friends with other couples, because he considered that men with courted watched my phones and a couple accidentally slaps became punches and kicks which of course always accompanied by obscene insults. When I got pregnant, one of the punch threw me unconscious and kicking that followed were the cause to lose the child pregnant. I decided to leave, but he begged me, promised to change, swore that this was allegedly the love and passion for me. I believed him, I returned for a while things calmed down. I was pregnant again, this time it was difficult pregnancy and had to stay in bed the last three months. The tension peaked again, swearing intensified. I thought again that will change when he comes to life in the child. But when this happened, my life, our life became a hell. If the child was crying, I was to blame if you do not eat, if sick, I was to blame. Until one day, on one of our quarrel, hit me mercilessly, grabbed the child and threw it with force in his crib. Fortunately soft toys and blankets stopped evil. But this led me to leave and not look back. He took me to court, threatened, begged me but returned After the initial relief, I began to experience an endless void and a profound sadness. I had to take drugs to be able to operate in my work, but worse. A very good friend convinced me to visit a psychiatrist / psychotherapist. With difficulty I did. I had to go out from this inner hell that had become a way of life and can not understand why I allowed so much violence in my life. withdraw my past to find the root of the problem. Snneiditopoiisa that grew up in the violence and that this situation was so familiar that can and to seek it. I realized that my mother was a mentally ill woman who threw the responsibility for the misery in me. The most important my childhood memory was: I remember being 4 years, decorate the Christmas tree view. I went to put a gem and I did not succeed, I looked at my mom for help but was afraid to ask her. Then the one with the dark and distant gaze told me: "You, do not bring your gift Santa Claus because you diavolokoritso. When born-tions made ​​me to suffer as I have given you my curse. I wish to suffer all As life as when I gave birth to. " Without a second konventa grabbed the tree, and threw xestolise ornaments over units. I stayed motionless from my fear. My mother managed to fear my shadow, trying desperately to become better, because I felt nothing and commiserate with unimaginable human suffering. He has been dead for years, but the thought of still fills me with horror. Even working with myself to be able to forgiveness, lest redeemed last. Meanwhile remarried, I made ​​two more children. Often I wake up in my sleep I look at my husband and I wonder when they will become violent. But so far it happens. I dare say that I managed to change the course of my life, but the child models. Dare to make dreams take care of myself, dare I feel that I deserve it. The violence suffered by Merope throughout her life and her feelings about herself and perceptions about life are mirrored on childhood memories . The children memories are windows that allow us to see that the past has marked our present. At the same time, help us to open the door to the future and decide whether we want to continue along that path, a path that will lead to similar situations, or whether we want to risk change. When after long Merope narrated the same recollection, what had changed was the image of herself, the memory of herself as a woman who struggles to bring about change was more pronounced than the image of the victim. That self-esteem had developed itself taking responsibility ceased to consider others responsible for her life and managed to redeem unhealthy relationships.

Results (English) 3:

Incident: Abuse title: "pull me in violence" case NAME: Ms Meropi Kaldi age: 52C) ΕΠΑΓΓΕΛΜΑ: Doctor

Marital status: Married with 3 children

from psychologist Πέγκυ Πελώνη: Years lived a nightmare,But it was so familiar; i didn't know how to υπάρχω without him. I am a very successful doctor with a lot of love for our fellow human beings who are suffering. I spent my life in the tender and relief of others.I won the respect of my colleagues and the many love my patients. But in my wedding was a woman κακοποιημένη. You told me myself εξευτελίζεται daily and the worst was that i thought that i did not deserve it.With κυρίευαν the obligations that I challenge you. I was thinking every day that if i was best cook, best erotic companion, more patient, less busy, not going to happen.The man i was this doctor. When γνωριστήκαμε not peeling off one another. With stared at the eyes, claimed the free hours, filled with gifts and showed his thirst with me in each look.When we got married, the envy that he flattered me privately was unbearable. We stopped to make friends with other couples, because it considered that the men with φλέρταραν,He watched the phones me and a couple accidentally slaps started to become punches and goalkeeper who, of course, always accompanied by carry on with vulgar expressions about breweries profanity.c) where i stayed pregnant,A punch with threw callous and the goalkeeper that followed were the cause to miss the child that pregnant. I decided to leave but she begged him, he promised to change,Ορκιζόταν that acts in this way by a lot of love and passion for me. The thought, I returned and for some things have calmed down. I stayed again pregnant,This time it was difficult pregnancy and had to stay in bed the last three months.c) The intensity peaked again, profanity have intensified. I was thinking again that will change when it comes to life the child.But when this was done, my life, our life became a hell. If she cried the child, έφταιγα i, if not eating, if was sick, έφταιγα i. Until one day, on a quarrel with hit mercilessly,Grabbed the child and threw it with force in cot. Fortunately the soft of toys and blankets had ceased in bad. This, however, led me to leave and not look back. He took me to the courts, with threatened,To beg but not

returned after the initial relief, i started experiencing an endless gap and a deep sadness. I had to take drugs to be able to come across in my work, but χειροτέρευα.A very good friend has convinced me to visit a traumatised/ψυχοθεραπευτή. With difficulty i did.I had to get out of this hell that had become way of life and to understand why i have so much violence in my life.: we have temporarily brought back our past me to find the root the problem.Σννειδητοποίησα that I grew up in violence and that this situation was so familiar that may and I was looking for.I understand that my mother was a mentally ill woman who threw the responsibility for the misery to me. The most important children my recollection was as follows: I remember that i was 4 years,The στολίζαμε tree ahead Christmas. I went to put a gem and not succeed, I looked at my mom for help, but I was afraid to ask. Then it with dark and distant gaze told me:"You will not bring your gift Agios Vassilis because you διαβολοκόριτσο. When arose-Kew with it anyway to fly came so that you gave the curse me. I wish υποφέρεις throughout sean life as i when in breastmilk ...".Without second κονβέντα grabbed the tree, the ξεστόλισε and threw the ornaments on Mon. I stayed motionless from my fear. My mother was able to be afraid my shadow, trying desperately to make myself better,After i felt a little and to sympathise enormously with human suffering. Has Been dead for years, but the thought of still fills with terror. Even working with myself to be able to the συγχωρέσω,Whether λυτρωθώ finally. Meanwhile ξαναπαντρεύτηκα, i had two more children. Often waking up in my bed looking at the man and I wonder when it will be violent.C) so far but this is not the case.I dare say that I have managed to change the course of my life, but the child unit. I dare to make dreams, to look after myself, I dare to feel that ultimately deserve.

The violence suffered by the Ms Meropi Kaldi in her whole life but also the emotions of itself and the perceptions of life attitudes are reflected in childhood of memories.

The children memories are windows that allow us to see that the past has tainted our present. In addition,Help us to open the door in the future and to decide whether we want to continue on the same path, a path that will lead to similar situations or whether we want to chance to change.When after some time the Ms Meropi Kaldi from ruptured implants would tell the same memory, what had changed was the image of itself,The memory of myself as a woman who has been fighting to bring the change was more pronounced in the image of the victim.In other words, the self-esteem and our was developed and the same taking responsibility ceased to consider other management totally ceased to life and managed to redeem themselves from ill relations.